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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24560512">When the Levee Breaks</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/comeaftermejackrobinson/pseuds/comeaftermejackrobinson'>comeaftermejackrobinson</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>CSI: Crime Scene Investigation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Drama, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:40:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,949</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24560512</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/comeaftermejackrobinson/pseuds/comeaftermejackrobinson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>s_sidle@hotmail.com has added you to his/her contact list. </p><p>Do you want to:<br/>Allow this person to see you when you are online and contact you.<br/>Block this person from seeing you when you are online and contacting you. </p><p>Remember, you can make yourself temporarily invisible to everyone at any time. </p><p>Add this person to my contact list. </p><p>Cancel   OK</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gil Grissom/Sara Sidle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>How do you want to add a contact?</b> </p><p> </p>
<ul>
<li>
<b>By e-mail address or sign-in name</b> </li>
<li>Search for a contact </li>
</ul><p> </p><p>If we can't add the contact to your list, the wizard will help you invite the person to start using this service. </p><p> </p><p>&lt;Back<b>  Next &gt;</b>                     Finish   Cancel </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>-</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><a href="mailto:s.sidle@hotmail.com"> s_sidle@hotmail.com </a> has added you to his/her contact list. </p><p> </p><p>Do you want to: </p><p> </p>
<ul>
<li><b>Allow this person to see you when you are online and contact you. </b></li>
</ul><p> </p>
<ul>
<li>Block this person from seeing you when you are online and contacting you. </li>
</ul><p> </p><p>Remember, you can make yourself temporarily invisible to everyone at any time. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Add this person to my contact list. </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Cancel   <b>OK</b></p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>🦋S has just signed in </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>I was beginning to think you had misplaced my contact details. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>🦋S </b>
</p><p>I added you to my contact list three days ago. It's not my fault you're barely online. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>I may have to start making some time to login every day now that I have you to chat with. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>🦋S</b>
</p><p>How is Vegas? </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>I was just about to ask you how is San Francisco. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>🦋S</b>
</p><p>I asked you first. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>Vegas is fine, thank you. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>🦋S</b>
</p><p>How are you? </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>You haven't answered my question yet. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>🦋S</b>
</p><p>If Vegas is fine, then San Francisco is lonely. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>It didn't feel lonely to me four days ago when I was there. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>🦋S</b>
</p><p>It never felt more alive to me than when you were here. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>Maybe I should be a guest-speaker there more often. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>🦋S</b>
</p><p>Maybe you should. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>My shift starts in two hours. I should grab something to eat and get ready. Jim is going to be pissed if I'm late twice in one week. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>🦋S</b>
</p><p>Tell your boss I'm sorry you missed your flight because of me. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>As you probably can imagine, I don't discuss my private life with my boss. I only told him my flight had to be rescheduled. I never said why. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>🦋S</b>
</p><p>You should log off now, Mr Grissom. After all, punctuality is a very important thing. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>Have a good night, Miss Sidle. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>🦋S</b>
</p><p>One last thing, Mr Grissom.  </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>I'm all eyes. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>🦋S</b>
</p><p>San Francisco misses you. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>I miss San Francisco. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>🦋S</b>
</p><p>Have a good shift. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>-</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Gil Grissom has just signed in</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>🦋S</b>
</p><p>I read about the quadruple you guys are working on. Made national news and all. I kinda envy you, to be honest. High profile case like that? That's the stuff promotions are made of. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>And good morning to you too, Miss Sidle. </p><p> </p><p>🦋<b>S</b></p><p>I'm surprised you even have time to get online in between shifts. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom</b>
</p><p>Actually, I don't. I was just going to quickly check something and then sign off. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>🦋S</b>
</p><p>Oh sorry, didn't mean to disturb you. I'll let you get back to it. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>It was you I wanted to check on. I wanted to see how you're doing. </p><p> </p><p>🦋<b>S </b></p><p>Well, I met this guy two weeks ago. Handsome, breathtaking blue eyes, a smile that makes you go weak at the knees. On top of that, he is brilliant. There's no other way to describe this man's intelligence. I could listen to him talk about anything for hours and never get bored. He could read the dictionary to me and I'd hang on every word -- no pun intended. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom</b>
</p><p>I'm sure he has his flaws. </p><p> </p><p>🦋<b>S</b></p><p>We went out to dinner, drove back to my place for coffee. Next thing I know, it's 8:45 a.m. and we've spent the last twelve hours in my bed discussing forensics in between make out sessions, and he's late for his flight home. Did I mention he lives in another state 568,9 miles away from here?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>You didn't, no. </p><p> </p><p>🦋<b>S</b></p><p>He does. Same time zone though, so at least we have that going on for us. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom</b>
</p><p>At least you do.</p><p> </p><p><b>🦋S</b> </p><p>The problem is I don't know when I'll see this guy again. I have some vacation time saved up, so I was thinking I could take a couple of days off and pay him a visit. Do you think he'd like that? </p><p> </p><p>Gil Grissom is now offline</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>-</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Gil Grissom has just signed in</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>Sara I'm so sorry about the other day. I owe you an apology. I hope you let me explain. </p><p> </p><p>🦋S is now offline</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>-</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Gil Grissom is offline, but they'll still get your IMs as missed messages. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>🦋S</b>
</p><p>I saw you online before and wanted to talk to you, but I got a call from my supervisor and had to step away from the computer. I guess I missed you. Maybe suggesting I go to Vegas to see you was out of the line. If that's the case, I'm sorry. But I do miss you, you know. It's crazy, we only hung out that one time and I can't get you out of my head. Anyway, that's something for me to deal with. I just wanted to apologize for the other day. I hope you're well. Take care. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>-</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Gil Grissom has just signed in</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>Hi</p><p> </p><p>🦋<b>S</b></p><p>Hey </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>I got the message you left me when I was offline. </p><p> </p><p>🦋<b>S</b></p><p>Are we OK? </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>Sara I don't know what to do about this. </p><p> </p><p>🦋<b>S</b></p><p>Well would you like to? Know what to do about this, I mean. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom</b>
</p><p>Desperately so. </p><p> </p><p>🦋<b>S</b></p><p>What would you like to know? </p><p> </p><p><b>Gil Grissom</b> </p><p>What do you want from me? </p><p> </p><p>🦋<b>S</b></p><p>If I told you I just want sex, would you be disappointed or relieved? </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>I would be confused. </p><p> </p><p>🦋<b>S</b></p><p>Why? </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>The way you held onto me while we kissed, the softness of your caresses, the fact that you noticed I was nervous and were more focused on helping me relax than on arousing me -- all of those things tell me you're not craving meaningless sexual intercourse. You're craving the kind of intimacy derived from things much more deeper and complicated than sex. </p><p> </p><p>🦋<b>S</b></p><p>And what are you craving? </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>Sara, how old are you?</p><p> </p><p>🦋<b>S</b></p><p>Please don't give me that. If you're going to reject me I'm sure you can do better than that. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>I will be forty-one years old in August. You are what? Twenty four? Twenty five?</p><p> </p><p>🦋<b>S</b></p><p>Not that it matters, but I will be twenty six in September. And you still haven't answered my question. What are you craving? </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom</b>
</p><p>That doesn't matter. </p><p> </p><p>🦋<b>S</b></p><p>It matters to me. Do you want me to tell you what I think you crave? </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>I insist it doesn't really matter. </p><p> </p><p>🦋<b>S</b></p><p>You crave human connection, maybe -- no, definitely in spite of yourself. You want physical and emotional intimacy as much as I do. You didn't spend the night making out with me and discussing forensics while playing with my hair and nuzzling every piece of my skin you could reach because you were after a one night stand. But you fear the kind of intimacy derived from things much more deeper and complicated than sex, don't you? </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom</b>
</p><p>I guess you could say I suffer from some form of athazagoraphobia. </p><p> </p><p>🦋<b>S</b></p><p>The fear of being forgotten, ignored or abandoned. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>How do you do that? </p><p> </p><p>🦋<b>S</b></p><p>How do I do what? </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>Leave me speechless. </p><p> </p><p>🦋<b>S</b></p><p>I don't know. I could ask you how you managed to stay nestled in my mind even when I've spent the best part of a month trying to evict you. But I am sure you don't have an answer to that question either. There was a connection between us that none of us can explain. I leave you speechless and you drive me crazy and we've only met once, and neither of us knows why. Don't you want to figure it out? </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>I am a scientist. I don't 'figure things out'. I make conjectures, I derive predictions, and then I carry out experiments or empirical observations to test my hypothesis. </p><p> </p><p>🦋<b>S</b></p><p>The scientific method. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>Sara, you're young and beautiful. Some men find that intimidating. Some men are scared of getting burnt by women like you. </p><p> </p><p>🦋<b>S</b></p><p>I'm not gonna burn you. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>You can't know that. </p><p> </p><p>🦋<b>S</b></p><p>What if you burn me? </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>I highly doubt I could burn you. </p><p> </p><p>🦋<b>S</b></p><p>You already have. </p><p> </p><p>🦋S is now offline </p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>-</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>🦋S has just signed in </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>I'll be in San Francisco next week. </p><p> </p><p>🦋<b>S</b></p><p>Another seminar? </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>No. I just want to see this girl I met last time I was in California. She has hazel eyes, the most beautiful gap-tooth smile, and she wears her curly hair in a ponytail. Do you think she'd like to see me?</p><p> </p><p>🦋<b>S</b></p><p>You'll be disappointed to know she doesn't always wear her hair in a ponytail. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p><p>Have dinner with me next week?</p><p> </p><p>🦋<b>S</b></p><p>Yes. Let's have dinner. See what happens. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello! </p><p>I hope you have enjoyed reading the first chapter of this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it. </p><p>I have been a GSR shipper half my life (I started the show in 2006 when I was 14 and now I'm 28). Yet I had never written something about them other than songs no one else but me gets to hear. Perhaps because their story is perfect just the way it is. Perhaps because I'm scared of being unable to make these two brilliant characters justice. </p><p>I would love to know what you think, and where you think this story is headed. </p><p>Stay safe, </p><p>Dai</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Gil Grissom has just signed in</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>🦋S</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hey there. Did you have a good flight? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Gil Grissom </b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yes, it was fine. I just got home. Something told me I would find you here. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>🦋S</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Am I that obvious? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Gil Grissom</b>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>How are you? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>🦋S</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I could tell you that nothing's changed much since you last saw me less than five hours ago, but I would be lying. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Gil Grissom</b>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Did something happen?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>🦋S</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yes. You happened. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Gil Grissom</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sara, I still do not know what to do about this. Truth be told, I'm not sure what 'this' is exactly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>🦋S</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Talk me through it. Explain 'this' to me. Pretend it's a crime scene. Analyze the evidence, find out what it wants to tell you. It's the best way to figure out what 'this' is. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Gil Grissom</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Do you want me to treat 'this' like a crime scene?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>🦋S</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Why did you come back to San Francisco?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Gil Grissom</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To see you. To spend some time with you. To try and figure out why the mere idea of your atoms existing somewhere in this world at the same time as my atoms leaves me speechless and defenceless. To try and figure out why you're on my mind all the time since I met you.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>🦋S</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Did you find the answers you were looking for while you were here?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Gil Grissom</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No. I only found more questions.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>🦋S</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Well, the answer is usually in the question. You taught me that. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Gil Grissom</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Don't you have any unanswered whys, Sara?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>🦋S</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Of course I do. But there's only one why that matters to me now. Why are you so free with your affection when we are together but become so cold and scared when we are apart?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Gil Grissom</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Do I sound cold and scared to you now?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>🦋S</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You don't sound like the man I spent the last four days discussing science and making out with. It's like as soon as we are a hundred of miles apart you become someone else.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Gil Grissom</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sara you have to understand. You're too young to be making out with a guy like me. You're barely twenty five...</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>🦋S</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And you're barely forty. Look at us! We are really good at this math thing!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Gil Grissom</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What you said… I guess it is true. I do become someone else when I'm around you. Someone I don't know or recognize. Someone who all of a sudden doesn't care that the girl he's strolling down the San Francisco streets with is someone young and beautiful. Someone who could be with anyone she wanted. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>🦋S</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I want to be with you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Gil Grissom is now offline </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
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